It was with great apprehension that we left the hospital that Monday afternoon. It was December 10, and it was FREEZING outside. The nurse, Wendy, helped us out the door, and we got you into the car in a panic. I could barely sit comfortably, but we got all packed in and on our way home. I remember every little bump on the ride home. For one, I was extremely sore still and for two, I thought you were going to be uncomfortable or somehow hurt from a bump in the road. Or the sun was going to burn your newborn skin through the glass. But you slept the entire ride, quietly in your car seat. (And thank God for Wendy - she helped me figure out how to work the darn car seat so you were plugged in safely.)
We pulled into the garage and while I waddled to the door, your Dad released the car seat and followed behind me. I wanted to be sure to acknowledge Buddy and let him know that I still love him and to have him welcome you to the house and to the family. He was a little suspicious and had to smell you numerous times in numerous ways, but he has yet to be mean to you. Pacha, avoided the whole confrontation from the beginning. She's slowly warmed up to, just like she did with your Dad, but she'll always be Pacha - avoiding interaction until SHE'S ready for it.
Your Grandpa was staying at the house when we got home to help us out, and thank God for that because we needed it. We were unsure about whether we should have family stay with us, because we weren't sure what condition we would be in. But thankfully he was there and cooked every meal we needed for the few days that he stayed with us. Also, since he knew I had some complications during delivery, he had moved all of your baby equipment upstairs so that we could sleep in the spare room and be close to the kitchen and I wouldn't have to negotiate those stairs. I didn't go downstairs for TWO WEEKS. I can't even believe it now that I'm typing it.
It seems that as soon as we brought you home you were ready to test out your vocal chords. Our once sleepy little Maxwell was now up every two hours, sometimes, less, ready to eat. AND EAT NOW. If there was any delay, we paid for it in decibels. Breastfeeding became very tough for me in your second week and we had to use the bottle and formula a bit to help me out. You switched back and forth like a champ. I think as long as you were getting food, you were fine with however it was delivered. JUST DON'T DELAY THE PROCESS. Your Dad was so helpful during this time. We were both so sleep deprived, yet he'd take you and walk around with you while you screamed, so I could get some rest. What a life saver he was and is.
We celebrated our first Christmas together as a family. That December. How wonderful it was. Yes, it was a difficult transition. A transition that no one could have prepared us for, but what an amazing experience.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
The Induction
"Cerival ripening". I'm sure you didn't want to hear that, but that's what we started with for the induction. They like to "soften" your cervix before starting Pitocin so that it's sufficiently "ripe" for delivery. However, after a dose Wednesday night, and another two doses Thursday morning and early afternoon - I still was not very "ripe" or dilated. My contractions by 5pm Thursday were sufficient to call it active labor, but I still was not dilating - stuck at 2cm. So they started the Pitocin. Ugh. Awful, awful contractions. These continued Thursday evening, night and into Friday afternoon. I realized early on Friday that my hopes of a natural birth were out the window. The contractions were so intense I couldn't believe it. My legs would just shake. But you were so tough. You tolerated everything we through at you. My guy. You made us very proud. Every time they had to you on the fetal monitor, every just looked perfect.
Friday afternoon around 2pm, my water broke! Halelujah! That meant that I could get an epidural. I wasn't excited, but I was happy that I could do something about the pain of the contraction. The MD came in and placed the thing in 5 minutes, tops. My main concern was staying still while she was placing it because I'd shake so bad during the contractions. But we got it done and it was such a relief! Both of my legs were totally numb although one I had a little more control over than the other. It worked beautifully to control the pain of the contractions, but I could still feel them enough to know they were happening.
By 9pm, I was 9cm and they were ready for me to start pushing. I was so ready! I felt like I'd push you out in no time. I had the strength to do it! But three hours later, I was completely exhausted. It seemed like every time I pushed the midwife said "he's almost here, just one more good push". I just had nothing left. I was so disappointed in myself, but I just was exhausted. At about 11pm, she recommended using the vacuum to help me out. They paged the MD to come in and he said he'd be there in 20 minutes. That sounded to me like 20 hours, and I think my midwife picked up on that and recommended that I just rest during the upcoming contractions. I did and it was really uncomfortable, but when the alternative was pushing again, I opted for the discomfort. I kept asking if we could increase the epidural, so they'd bolus me, but it didn't seem to make a big difference. It seemed like I could feel more than I did initially. It was about 11:30 when the MD came in. He went on about the risks and benefits and I thought I was going to lose it. I finally said "can we just do this please" - I thought I was going to just pass out. He got ready and I started pushing again. It took four pushes with the use of the vacuum and you were out!!! HOORAY!!!! When you came half way he said that your arm was up by your face "waving at everyone" when you came out which added to the degree of difficulty of the delivery. But you were perfect! Your dad was in tears, my dad was so excited. They watched you get cleaned up and assessed while the MD finished taking care of me. I had some complications after you were born, but nothing long term, it just made for a slower recovery. I was so relieved when you came out. Not that I didn't love the sensation of you trying to kick your way out of the uterus, but it was just time for you to join us in this world. I got to order a monster meal because I was starving, then we moved to our post-partum room around 3am.
Our time in the hospital was wonderful. Everyone I met was so helpful. The staff at the hospital made that birth experience what it was. You were SO SLEEPY! My sister-in-law, your Aunt Cammie stated it best when she described you as being "squishy". You just had that puffy newborn appearance for those first few days that I'm sure all babies have, but you were mine and special :-) You latched on right away, and were a good eater when you were awake. All of your extended family came to the hospital to meet you. It was such a surreal experience. Almost out-of-body. I couldn't believe you were mine and were coming home with us. But Monday afternoon, you would.
Friday afternoon around 2pm, my water broke! Halelujah! That meant that I could get an epidural. I wasn't excited, but I was happy that I could do something about the pain of the contraction. The MD came in and placed the thing in 5 minutes, tops. My main concern was staying still while she was placing it because I'd shake so bad during the contractions. But we got it done and it was such a relief! Both of my legs were totally numb although one I had a little more control over than the other. It worked beautifully to control the pain of the contractions, but I could still feel them enough to know they were happening.
By 9pm, I was 9cm and they were ready for me to start pushing. I was so ready! I felt like I'd push you out in no time. I had the strength to do it! But three hours later, I was completely exhausted. It seemed like every time I pushed the midwife said "he's almost here, just one more good push". I just had nothing left. I was so disappointed in myself, but I just was exhausted. At about 11pm, she recommended using the vacuum to help me out. They paged the MD to come in and he said he'd be there in 20 minutes. That sounded to me like 20 hours, and I think my midwife picked up on that and recommended that I just rest during the upcoming contractions. I did and it was really uncomfortable, but when the alternative was pushing again, I opted for the discomfort. I kept asking if we could increase the epidural, so they'd bolus me, but it didn't seem to make a big difference. It seemed like I could feel more than I did initially. It was about 11:30 when the MD came in. He went on about the risks and benefits and I thought I was going to lose it. I finally said "can we just do this please" - I thought I was going to just pass out. He got ready and I started pushing again. It took four pushes with the use of the vacuum and you were out!!! HOORAY!!!! When you came half way he said that your arm was up by your face "waving at everyone" when you came out which added to the degree of difficulty of the delivery. But you were perfect! Your dad was in tears, my dad was so excited. They watched you get cleaned up and assessed while the MD finished taking care of me. I had some complications after you were born, but nothing long term, it just made for a slower recovery. I was so relieved when you came out. Not that I didn't love the sensation of you trying to kick your way out of the uterus, but it was just time for you to join us in this world. I got to order a monster meal because I was starving, then we moved to our post-partum room around 3am.
Our time in the hospital was wonderful. Everyone I met was so helpful. The staff at the hospital made that birth experience what it was. You were SO SLEEPY! My sister-in-law, your Aunt Cammie stated it best when she described you as being "squishy". You just had that puffy newborn appearance for those first few days that I'm sure all babies have, but you were mine and special :-) You latched on right away, and were a good eater when you were awake. All of your extended family came to the hospital to meet you. It was such a surreal experience. Almost out-of-body. I couldn't believe you were mine and were coming home with us. But Monday afternoon, you would.
Last Midwife Appointment
We went and saw Laura, our midwife, today (12.3.07) and she recommended doing an induction. We agreed with mixed feelings because I so wanted to have a natural waterbirth and I know the likelihood of this happening after being induced is substantially diminished. It can happen, but it's kind of like all the moons have to be in alignment. So we'll go to the hospital Wednesday night at 7pm for "cervical ripening". I know, probably too much information, but hey, it's biology. They'll give me a medication that will help soften and dilate my cervix and hopefully throw me into labor. If I don't go into labor with these different types of cervical gels, they'll have to start Pitocin to get contractions started.
As much as I am excited to meet you, I'm a little nervous about being induced. I feel like I'm losing control of my labor experience (even though, in reality, I didn't have any control to begin with). Another consideration is. . .I'M HUGE. I feel so big and uncomfortable. Sleeping is awkward and not restful, so in that respect I'm ready to get this party started.
I can't believe this is all finally happening. . .
Love,
Mama
As much as I am excited to meet you, I'm a little nervous about being induced. I feel like I'm losing control of my labor experience (even though, in reality, I didn't have any control to begin with). Another consideration is. . .I'M HUGE. I feel so big and uncomfortable. Sleeping is awkward and not restful, so in that respect I'm ready to get this party started.
I can't believe this is all finally happening. . .
Love,
Mama
Our Weekend Away
Our weekend away was spent in La Crosse, Wisconsin. Romantic, isn't it? The situation was, there was a slew of snow storms trucking through Minnesota and we didn't want to get stuck in Rochester if I could still have the waterbirth in La Crosse. So we decided to spend the weekend in La Crosse so if I went into labor we'd be a mile from the hospital.
We stayed at the lovely Radisson in downtown La Crosse. They actually had a great restaurant called the Three Rivers, which we went to for lunch and dinner every day. We bought a styrofoam cooler at the local grocery and bought some snacks and breakfast cereal so we wouldn't be totally reliant on the restaurant to eat.
Although I associated the weekend with being in jail, we actually had a really good time. La Crosse had their Rotary Lights display a block from the hotel, so despite the 
snow and ice, we were able to walk over and see them. My favorite was the fire breathing dragon. 
Anyhow, needless to say, you didn't come into our lives that weekend. That was all determined at our last midwife appointment the following day, December 3rd, 2007.
Love you,
Mama
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